FFfAW – Quiet



I could hear only the footsteps of my new sneakers in the dark. Being winter time, the thick air was filled with cold humidity that I took in the lungs with every breath. Quiet serenity was a river that washed away all past anxiety weighing on my shoulders. Rarely was anyone on the road – not even a passing vehicle – until my eyes fell on a young man standing under the street light.

His jacket, slumped posture and appearance left an impression that I found eerily familiar. We passed under the light and giving him a silent nod. His knees unbuckled.

Pausing, I watched him regain balance.

“You alright, kid?”


“Need some help?”

For a moment I wished I could hear something, the sound of breathing, or steps, frogs or crickets – it was too cold for those calls; a sign that told me life wasn’t around.

“I…” he murmured,”… I don’t know…”

An odor, liquor on his breath.

He sniffled, visibly maintaining his composure. My shoulders lowered and I smiled sympathetically. Yeah, this was a kid whose whole world had just ended.

I’d been there.

Walking over, I listened to him until he made it back home.

This is my entry for the week of December 13th 2016 at the FFfAW Challenge by Priceless Joy! I hope you all enjoy this piece of sweet melancholy. The idea was at first a story between two men, and one who couldn’t see stars. But this was the final outcome. Working on descriptions and imagery than story or dialogue. I hope you enjoy!

(Total word count was 200, hope that’s okay!)

For other entries in this week’s challenge, click here!


8 thoughts on “FFfAW – Quiet

  1. This is very good. Nicely understated, a quiet window on a shared moment, one that could actually have made a big difference to the young man’s life. I enjoyed the silence – gave the whole an eerie quality. Really good

    Liked by 1 person

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